


there was no soul-deep bond between them

by cougarlips



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: ((but no actual major character death)), 2A Finale Spoilers, 2x10 spoilers, Alec Lightwood-centric, Anxiety, Background Character Death, Canon Compliant, Introspection, M/M, Minor Character Death, POV Third Person, Possible Character Death, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-14 22:46:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10545632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cougarlips/pseuds/cougarlips
Summary: There was no rune that tied them together, no innate sixth sense that assured him Magnus was alive, that he was safe, that he was okay. And so it was different than how he felt when he was separated from Jace because with Magnus, Alec simply didn’t know.





	

It was sort of like those rare occasions when Jace had been sent on a mission without Alec – that fear that pulled into his stomach, that dread that settled like tar in his chest and sunk his heart into his feet – except with Jace, he could always rely on his parabatai bond to tell him that Jace was still alive. That Jace was okay. That Jace wasn’t so badly injured that he couldn’t go on. He had that link, that bond between their souls, that kept Alec sane when they were separated.

But there was no soul-deep bond between Alec and Magnus. There was no rune that tied them together, no innate sixth sense that assured him Magnus was alive, that he was safe, that he was okay. And so it was different than how he felt when he was separated from Jace because with Magnus, Alec simply _didn’t know_.

The anxiety clouded his judgement and his vision blurred at the edges. He only took in what was directly in front of him – dead bodies, downworlders who would never breathe again, who gave their lives for a chance, for hope; shadowhunters that he both fought beside and fought against. His own team. He could tell, now, that Madzie had killed them, that she had suffocated them perhaps only seconds after she sent him flying through the elevator and into the upper levels of the institute.

Where was she? Was she okay? Was she alive, or was her body littered somewhere in the institute like the rest of the downworlders Alec sifted through? Would he see the girl lying cold, her eyes wide, gills still and magic gone like it had never been there in the first place?

It could have been only an hour that he searched through the institute, ignoring the people who called after him – him, eldest of the lightwood children; him, the Head of the New York Institute – because he was a man on a mission and he was only half _there_  anyways. It could have been _ten_  hours for how long the time seemed to drag, how it seemed to pull and warp in his mind. When the sun slowly began lighting the halls of the institute and he finally forced himself to realize that he’d searched every square inch he knew of, had looked in every nook and cranny and couldn’t find Magnus or his body, couldn’t find Madzie or _her_  body, he tore out of the entryway with Magnus’s loft in mind, because surely if Magnus was no longer in the Institute, if he got himself and Madzie out then they would be there, they would be somewhere safe and far, far away from the danger of the soul sword–

A warm hand and metallic fingers curled around his bicep, and it took only a split second of seeing kohl-rimmed eyes and spiked hair before Alec threw his arms around the man he loved.

 

**Author's Note:**

> i uploaded this to tumblr the other day ago but i finally cleaned it up so here it is :") my shadowhunters sideblog is [@battlemagnus](https://battlemagnus.tumblr.com/)! i'm always down for people to come over there and cry w me over fictional characters :")))
> 
> also i know this is similar to one of my other fics abt 210 i just.... love it too much ok let me rEst


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